Tedy Bruschi Retires

Tedy Bruschi called it quits on Sunday. He didn't seem too bent out of shape about it. Carrying the weight of the moment was Bill Belichick, whose voice actually cracked up a little during his press conference. I've never seen him unable to hide emotion before, even for the tiniest moment. Even after Super Bowl wins he usually just sounds like someone who won their money back on a five dollar scratch ticket. Yet there he was, getting emotional, struggling to collect himself, letting it slip that Bruschi was his favorite player. Kinda says something about Bruschi. 

The man came back from a stroke and anchored the defense of a team that had a perfect season. THE MAN CAME BACK FROM A STROKE. Absolutely incredible. One of a kind. It was a pleasure to watch him play the game. 

People Are Happy For Mike Vick

Mike Vick made his comeback last night against the Jaguars last night. He looked slow, but he completed all of his passes and didn't royally fuck up like Donovan McNabb did. It's worth noting that the crowd received him enthusiastically, their greeting being one of the many Vick-related uncertainties heading into the game.

I sense that people are generally OK with Vick now and are prepared to get behind him if he plays well. America loves dogs, but America also loves touchdowns. Plus, Vick got a huge PR boost when PETA took a public stance against him.

Here's the thing about PETA, their agenda aside: PETA is the girl in class that likes the sound of her own voice so much that she has her hand up for every question, regardless of whether or not she has something valuable to say. She does not seem to listen or think anything through. She simply spouts self-important rhetoric, delighted with herself for enlightening her peers. No one is interested in her opinion by the second week of class. The professor calls on her only because he knows that if he doesn't, she will complain to her parents, who will contact the school and complain about the unfair treatment of their daughter. That is what PETA would be if an animal rights activists organization could be a person. 

Being so deeply unlikeable themselves, PETA might have actually helped Vick's return to good graces by condemning him. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so to speak. Either way, I'm not too surprised to see the overall positive reaction to Vick playing again. I thought it would be a little more mixed, but no, it's pretty overwhelmingly positive. Chalk one up for the "America is about forgiveness" crowd. 

John Smoltz Suddenly Incredible Again

John Smoltz was buck nasty in his first start for the Cardinals. Five scoreless innings, seven straight strikeouts, nine in all. Seven straight strikeouts! So money. I don't know if he managed seven straight strikes, period, when he was with the Red Sox. 

I've always liked John Smoltz. I grew up watching the Braves more than any other team because of TBS, and Smoltz stood out to me. He seemed like someone you could trust, and as a young person I needed that. He's a standard bearer of the goatee and could without question teach a high school math class. He has looked exactly the same for 14 years and only bothers with one facial expression ("plain"). 

So the question is, why was he so dreadful with the Red Sox and so instantly fantastic with the Cardinals? Well, the real question is who didn't see that coming, because you just KNEW it was going to happen. But let's explore some possible answers to that first one.

A) The National League is terrible. This is a pretty universally accepted idea. The talent pool seems to be a little weaker, largely due to the absence of the Yankees and Red Sox. Those teams play Really Major League Baseball and the other teams mainly just stick to MLB. So without cash monsters like those, the NL sort of comes out looking like the pansy league. That's ok. Pansies are beautiful. 

B) Smoltz is just now breaking through his rust. This makes sense. The guy didn't pitch much at all last year and didn't start until the middle of the summer this year. He's like 40. It wasn't surprising to see him struggle at first. I thought the Red Sox were a little hasty in giving him the boot, but his last couple of starts really were horror shows. Hard to blame them for axing him when W's are so crucial. But everyone thought he'd start to roll at some point and maybe that point is right now. If so, tough break for Boston. 

C) The Russians.

Tough call. Comments about the pansy NL notwithstanding, the Cardinals are looking pretty good in October right now. They have the two hottest hitters in baseball (not including Joe Mauer) and an effective Smoltz really rounds their staff out. Tough matchup, even for the Yankees.

Rex Ryan Is An Asshole

Jets coach Rex Ryan made himself look like an asshole in public again. Here's something he said this week in reference to his months-old "kiss Belichick's rings" comment:

"When I said that about Belichick, I'm just letting him know I'm not intimidated by him. He's got the same position I have. We're both head coaches in this league. He just happens to have a hell of a lot more Super Bowl wins. I don't have a win. I understand that, but we're not going to tiptoe our way through this thing."

He declares that he's not intimidated by Bill Belichick and then immediately explains why he's inferior to Belichick. He says that there will be no tiptoeing as he is tiptoeing around his own artificially brash statements about not backing down.

Ryan's tough-guy posturing has been awkward from the start. Nobody provoked the initial comment ("I'm not here [coaching the Jets] to kiss Bill Belichick's rings"), making him just seem insecure about his stature relative to Belichick's rather than confident in his own coaching abilities. I felt bad for him (Ryan) at the time, and now he's just digging a deeper hole of loserdom. A loser hole. For losers to dwell in. Safely quarantined from successful people.

Rex Ryan thinks that a successful man is one who shouts as loud as he can at everyone and everything around him. He is a barking dog to Belichick's army general. I like the Pats to take the season series.

Vick To Eagles

Crazy. Sort of. Mike Vick is a good player and he was going to make some team some money this year, so no surprise that he's back in the League. Eagles, though? Why? Also, why not? Questions. Big ones.

People are pretty big on the Eagles this year, so in a way it works for Vick to go there. It gives Philly/Philly fans a solid excuse for when they inevitably blow it. "Mike Vick was a distraction, trying to use Mike Vick disrupted our offense, Mick Vick took touches away from Westbrook, Mike Vick blah de bloo." He is already a distraction (not a negative one yet, but the stories are barely mentioning football so there you go), and the rest of the excuses will flow easily after the Eagles lose in the NFC divisional round.

From a football standpoint, this is fantastic. Philly already has all that short-range offense that flows through Westbrook and working Vick into that shouldn't be too hard. He's faster than the other guy and can get by the other guy, invariably. You give him the ball in the flat and it's all good. The Eagles as a team already know how to make that sort of football work, so I think Vick will be productive immediately.

What about Donovan McNabb's thoughts? I don't really give a shit. I don't think I like that guy. He'll keep doing that thing he does, sort of doing a good job while sort of making it look harder than it is. Occasionally someone will be like "Donovan, why is this such a struggle for you?" He will be short on answers.

I hope he and Vick establish a rapport though, because a connection between those guys would yield some pretty spectacular looking broken plays. You could see a few twelve yard receptions that take 26 seconds to happen. "The Eagles have it at their own 32.....McNabb takes the snap, drops back.....looking....avoids the initial rush....he goes on the move......going to his right......looking for a man......thinks he has someone.....he has a confused look on his face, almost like he's never seen this receiver before this moment (other announcer: "I actually have no idea who that is, Bob")....looks back across the field......starts to move back to his left.....he has Vick in the flat!....Vick pulls it in and turns upfield....sidesteps a tackler....not much there in front of him....reverses course.....oh, an incredible move!....sheds ANOTHER man.....wow!!....a hard stutter step to get by one more man and he goes out of bounds at the Eagles' 37 for a gain of five. Incredible play, Rick. Amazing display of athletic ability." [the sound of 4500 Vick jerseys selling on nflshop.com]

The Patriots Are The Best Team

...in America. They are the best pro sports team in America. I don't know enough about international sports to declare them the best team in the world.

That's how it is. That's how it's going to be here. Hello. When you win the most you are the best. Blog.