Geniuses.

Here are a few sports geniuses:

Peyton Manning. Tom Brady is the best football player, and Peyton Manning is a genius. 

Gregg Popovich and Tim Duncan. Co-geniuses. Others gamble, they operate. They are also two badass motherfuckers disguised as dorks. 

Terry Francona. Derives his genius from the enormous wads of gum he chews. His genius is not his managerial style, but simply the decision he makes nightly to chew 2-3 pounds of gum at a time. 

Here are a few people who you might think are sports geniuses, but they are not:

Bill Belichick. He is a mad scientist, not a genius. A genius tolerates humanity.

Larry Bird: Savant. Possesses maybe the keenest basketball mind of all time, but shares more intellectually with Lennie from Of Mice And Men than Stephen Hawking.

Troy Aikman: Nobody actually thinks Troy Aikman is a genius, except for Troy Aikman. Troy, if you're reading, you are a clod, not a genius. Thank you for your readership.

Rex Ryan Is An Asshole

Jets coach Rex Ryan made himself look like an asshole in public again. Here's something he said this week in reference to his months-old "kiss Belichick's rings" comment:

"When I said that about Belichick, I'm just letting him know I'm not intimidated by him. He's got the same position I have. We're both head coaches in this league. He just happens to have a hell of a lot more Super Bowl wins. I don't have a win. I understand that, but we're not going to tiptoe our way through this thing."

He declares that he's not intimidated by Bill Belichick and then immediately explains why he's inferior to Belichick. He says that there will be no tiptoeing as he is tiptoeing around his own artificially brash statements about not backing down.

Ryan's tough-guy posturing has been awkward from the start. Nobody provoked the initial comment ("I'm not here [coaching the Jets] to kiss Bill Belichick's rings"), making him just seem insecure about his stature relative to Belichick's rather than confident in his own coaching abilities. I felt bad for him (Ryan) at the time, and now he's just digging a deeper hole of loserdom. A loser hole. For losers to dwell in. Safely quarantined from successful people.

Rex Ryan thinks that a successful man is one who shouts as loud as he can at everyone and everything around him. He is a barking dog to Belichick's army general. I like the Pats to take the season series.